Monday, 13 November 2017

The Apprentice 2017: Week 5 - "Lord Sugar's Birthday"

You know the drill by now (Vitality, Graphene, Advisors, LAS), here's the treasure hunt task that we look forward to every year:




The Rude Awakening & The Briefing:


·         5am, a shirtless Ross answers the phone (50 points to him)


·         They’re going to a primary school?


·         Anisa wants a couple of the boys to come over, your wish is their command!


·         And here’s Jade vs Joanna starting again…… god help Jade as we already know Joanna is PM


·         Bushra takes over from Joanna in the ‘Cannot Wear a Coat Properly’ game (30 points lost for Bushra)


·         James gets his wish to move over to Graphene


·         No one plays Scarf Wars this week, but Joanna did have some ribbon showing from her coat (-5 points for her for not cutting it off)


·         It’s the Treasure Hunt task, yay!


·         Points for this section: +50 Ross, -5 Joanna, -30 Bushra



Initial Planning:


·         Saj and Charles put their hats in the ring, Michaela backs Saj and he is elected PM; Harrison STL with Andrew and Sarah. (40 points for Saj, 20 for Charles for volunteering, 15 to Harrison for being made STL)


·         Joanna interrupts Jade again, and also interrupts Liz. Bushra made STL with Elizabeth and Jade (the 2 people who Joanna cannot stand) (15 points to Bushra)


·         Retro car aerial, scarlet doeskin, monogrammed handkerchief, rugelach (Charles knows what it is), Amstrad computer, 1947 item, bricks and mortar, and a Tottenham scarf are 8 of the items, who knows what the other 2 are


·         Karren criticises Graphene spending an hour planning and still not knowing what 2 of the items are and dividing items randomly (-30 for the team)


·         Ross wants to group items by theme (or location I think he means) but Saj wants them both to start from outskirts and work their way in


·         Points for this section: +40 Saj, +20 Charles, +15 Harrison, -15 Bushra, -30 Anisa/Jade/James/Joanna/Liz/Sarah Jayne



The Hunt:


·         Claude criticises Charles being Jewish and yet trying to find rugelach in a Turkish supermarket (there's always one Claude) (-30 points for Charles)


·         Joanna: ‘is Lord Sugar even Jewish?’ *facepalm*; she does find out what rugelach is, and decides to handle the entire pitch herself not wanting any interruptions. James jumps in to get the rugelach and birthday cake for £23 (when the seller initially wanted £35 for the rugelach alone) (-20 points for Joanna for sheer stupidity, James gains 15 for the negotiation)


·         Saj and Michaela get the cake and rugelach for £50 and Claude criticises Saj for looking in Hampstead where prices are high (-30 points for Saj)


·         Liz goes on the pitch for the monogrammed handkerchief, she manages to get £14.50 for it compared to £30 originally, but she kept trying to get it reduced and Karren criticises her for time-wasting. (-30 for Karren’s critique, but she'll gain 15 back for the negotiation)


·         Bushra has a go at Liz (what else is new), and Joanna manages to source an Amstrad computer (-15 for Liz)


·         Sarah gets stamps from 1947 for £5.50 (down from £7.50), Harrison tries for the Amstrad computer but the other team have clearly called ahead already. The seller says she’ll go with whoever gets there first (she’s obviously watched this show before). Joanna’s sub-team get there first, the seller tries to fob them off, but James saves the day again getting it for £88 (instead of £120). (Another 15 points to James, and Sarah gains 15)


·         Saj swaps the items over so his ST will get the Amstrad computer and Harrison’s ST will get the Tottenham scarf instead. Ross thinks this is a bad idea, and when Michaela goes into a store to get the monogrammed handkerchief (for £10 but not embroidered), he asks whether they should be getting it embroidered but gets shut down by Michaela (-15 for Ross)


·         Sarah Jayne gets the aerial, whilst Joanna wants James to use his rapport with the bakery shop owner to get the Tottenham scarf (which he manages) (James gets another 15 points)


·         Saj sources the Amstrad computer, but it will be a struggle to make it back


·         Bushra goes to pitch for the bricks and mortar, Elizabeth steps in to get the deal but Bushra criticises her for being unprofessional (both as an aside and on camera) (no points as the 15 Liz would have gained are taken away by Bushra’s comments)


·         Harrison’s ST struggle to get the bricks and mortar due to the merchants being closed, which Andrew blames Harrison for; Ross doesn’t think they’ll have enough time to get the computer, but Michaela and Charles have a go at him ‘if you have any better ideas…’ (-15 points for Harrison and Ross)


·         Anisa gets the scarf for £30; Bushra sources the doeskin but they’re worried about time, Joanna says to go for it as she reckons she’ll be late anyway; Bushra gets the doeskin for £5 (down from £10); Sarah gets the scarf for £11. All of Saj’s team get back on time, but none of Graphene are there. Bushra’s ST are there for 7.45 but Joanna’s ST aren’t (which Jade is not happy about) (Bushra gains 15 points)


·       Points for this section: +45 James, +15 Sarah/Bushra,-15 Harrison, -20 Joanna, -30 Charles/Sajan/Liz/Ross



Initial Boardroom:


·         Vitality: admit they didn’t initially know what the scarlet doeskin was (I wouldn't and I'm a Politics graduate so I think we can forgive them for it), Andrew reckons Saj gave good direction initially (+15 for Sajan)


·         Graphene: Joanna asked why she put Jade and Liz with Bushra (we ALL know why), James explains how he got the rugelach and scarf, Sarah Jayne called ‘no fireworks no disasters’ by Karren, Bushra criticises Liz and Jade for not giving her much backing. (Sarah Jayne loses 30 points for Karren’s comment, Liz and Jade lose 15 each for Bushra’s criticism)


·         Vitality: £82.50 spent, 3 items missing = £347.53 fine, = £430.03


·         Graphene: £210.70 for all 9, £100 late fine = £310.70


·         Joanna starts happy crying after winning, treat is to go to a 1940s bar


·         Joanna says she feels amazing and relieved that she can justify her past actions (really, you think this justifies you being a whiny bitch previously? No love, just no)


·         Liz shades Bushra (-15 for Bushra)


·         Loser CafĂ©: Sarah says going geographically was the wrong move, Saj reckons ST should have been able to source their items, Ross says Harrison is to blame for their team not getting the computer, Andrew blames Saj for setting them up to fail with the strategy being off (-15 for Harrison and Saj after Ross/Andrew’s comments)


·        Points for this section: -15 Bushra/Harrison/Jade/Liz/Saj, -30 Sarah Jayne



Losing Team Boardroom:


·         Harrison says not planned correctly from beginning, was asked about his plan – says still looking to source items while travelling, LAS says about they were outside builders merchants but went off to get the computer, Harrison says they at least gave themselves a chance of getting the computer. Saj blames ST for not telling him they were struggling to get their items; Ross gets asked what he did ‘I knew that you’d ask me that’ – meant to lead logistics, apparently he’s useless because he didn’t clinch a deal, he claims not getting the computer was the problem; Saj gets criticised for choosing to avoid the late fine over getting the computer; Charles argues with Michaela over the pitch of the cake; Sarah blames Saj for failure of task, Saj ‘can’t hold everyone’s hand’, brings back Harrison and Ross (Harrison doesn’t initially lose anything as he did make a good point about them giving themselves a shot at getting the higher-value item in the computer by forgoing the bricks and mortar, but he does then lose 60 for being brought back. Whole ST (Harrison/Sarah/Andrew) lose 15 for Saj’s blaming them. Ross is potentially right in saying that not getting the computer was the problem, so he won’t lose anything either at that point, but will lose 60 for being brought back. Saj loses 45 (30 for the critique over avoiding the late fine, and 15 for Sarah blaming him).


·         Points for this section: -15 Sarah/Andrew, -45 Sajan, -60 Ross, -75 Harrison




Final 3 Boardroom:


·         Ross: ‘more academic than a doer’ (Karren)


·         Saj: ‘good talker’ (LAS) ‘talked a good game but didn’t carry through’ (Claude)


·         Harrison: ‘Sarah was directing things’ (Claude) ‘worked hard’ (Karren)


·         Harrison says got 3 of the 4 items in the end, Saj says he should have had initiative to get the bricks. Ross would love to know why he’s the failure but LAS reckons he’s done nothing, Ross brings up when he was PM in week 2 and blames Harrison for not getting the computer; Harrison says picked as STL twice. Ross says ‘not just a technical person, have versatile skill set’ (seems like if you’re clever you get criticised for it). Saj says ‘here to be mentored’ and blames Harrison. (-45 for Harrison, and -15 for Ross)


·         Summary: Saj ultimately responsible as PM and lack of communication and strategy is poor, Harrison talks well but not impressed at all and not successful as STL, Ross maybe a genius and unfair to lay the blame on someone who did nothing but wonders if really made for business, Saj’s explanation for being here not good enough, but Ross a fish out of water and whilst he wishes him all the best and good luck he is fired. LAS says early-ish in the process and they caught him on a good day.


·         Ross knew this task wasn’t the one for him, that’s why he got fired


·         Michaela says Ross is 100% the weakest of the 3 and would be devastated if Saj and Harrison didn’t come back. (-15 for Ross)


·        Points for this section: -30 Ross, -45 Harrison


 
My thoughts on strategy and the boardroom:


·         With this task, it’s better in the long run to spend a bit of time planning and then heading out, rather than trying to source on the fly. If I were PM, my team would go over what each item was, whether it is a high-end, middle-end or low-end item, and what sort of place you would be likely to find it. Look to divide the items up by location (so neither ST is going here, there and everywhere) and then try to source at least 1 item before leaving. Make the high-end items the main priority (so the Amstrad computer for this year) and go from there. Ask the ST to call you periodically, and let you know progress (whether they’ve found any items or if they are struggling for any). Ensure (or try to) that on each ST there is someone who knows London geography reasonably well, and someone who is decent at negotiation.


·         Saj was kind of in the right ballpark in terms of grouping the items geographically, but he should have done it based on where you’re most likely to find them and not going to the outskirts and then working in. It’s better to stay in a closer proximity to your finish point as much as possible so that you then avoid the late fines (although if Graphene were any indication then the late fines wouldn’t matter).


·         Speaking of the late fine – as it was only £100, I’m guessing it’s a flat £50 fee for any ST who is late? It didn’t sound as though the candidates knew what the late fine was, otherwise I think Sajan would have gone to get the computer anyway and damn being late.


·         Also, how do they work out the fine for not getting the item? We know Vitality didn’t get the computer or the bricks and mortar (I’m not sure what else they missed) – but it was nearly £350 in fines; even if you divide that equally by 3, that would come to around £116 for the computer alone (and seeing as they didn’t tell us on the 3rd item, I’m guessing it wasn’t a high-end one, and I doubt the bricks and mortar would have been that sort of money either) which is just short of the amount that they lost by, therefore Ross was completely correct in saying that the problem was not getting the computer.


·         I felt quite sorry for Ross this week, he made some good points but he got shut down every time (I thought he was right on the handkerchief too – as far as I’m aware monogramming a handkerchief would involve embroidery of some sort (I am aware monograms can be printed too), so I don’t know why Michaela was so snappy with him on that). It is amusing how every time someone academic goes on the show they get mocked for it (LAS would hate me then, as I’m a graduate and my degree is in Law & Politics; I also happen to be a former member of Mensa so a triple firing for me).


·         One more thing, if you get asked specifically to look at one thing, I don’t see why you should be criticised for not doing something else (ie Ross being asked to look at logistics and being criticised for not doing any of the negotiations) – you follow the direction that you’re given surely?





Roll Call and Points Tallies: 


Where was he?: Andrew (-15)


All She Did was Get a Scarf: Anisa (-30)


Opinions are like……: Bushra (-45)


Taking Credit where it’s NOT Due: Charles (-10)


Faulty Computer: Harrison (-125)


Bored Now: Jade (-45)


Saviour of the Task: James (+15)


Do Not Interrupt Me, Ever: Joanna (-55)


Haggle, Haggle and Haggle Some More: Liz (-75)


Bang Bang, I Shot You Down: Michaela (0)


Bang Bang, He Hit the Ground: Ross (-70)


Geographically Challenged: Sajan (-50)


Directing the Action: Sarah (0)


No Fireworks & No Disasters: Sarah Jayne (-60)

And the Points Rankings for this week:
1. James (+15)
=2. Sarah/Michaela (0)
4. Charles (-10)
5. Andrew (-15)
6. Anisa (-30)
=7. Bushra/Jade (-45)
9. Sajan (-50)
10. Joanna (-55)
11. Sarah Jayne (-60)
12. Ross (-70)
13. Liz (-75)
14. Harrison (-125)

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