Thursday, 30 November 2017

The Apprentice 2017: Week 8 - "Doggy Business"


The Rude Awakening & The Briefing:

·         8am, candidates having a lie-in and LAS buzzes the door, Jade goes to answer (50 points to her in replacement of the phone)

·         Harrison not wanting to come down, bless, interesting bed hair Andrew, and notice that him, Charles and Liz aren’t wearing glasses (Michaela looks a lot better here than she usually does) but Anisa is

·         The teams must provide mobile services: either a canine spa or some doggy agility training

·         +50 Jade



Initial Stages:

·         Vitality: Charles finally gets PM over Anisa (with backing from Michaela as he’s had dogs in the family) whilst James is PM again for Graphene (40 points for Charles and James, 20 for Anisa)

·         James/Harrison/Bushra mobile team, Liz STL with Joanna (15 points to Liz)

·         Charles makes Andrew STL over Anisa (he claims Andrew has leadership qualities that override him not having dogs, Anisa is not happy she’s been overlooked) (15 points to Andrew for being made STL and another 15 for Charles praising him)

·         11am and the teams split. Liz and Joanna have a little bonding moment over the small dogs being the feisty ones (‘like me’ says Joanna)

·         Liz goes to see the doggy spa first, shown grooming parlour and spa – pawdicure, facial. Joanna wants to know how easy it is to learn the technique but admits she doesn’t have much experience with dogs (and Claude criticises her for not filling the owners or him with confidence). Charles/Jade/Michaela follow on, £15-£35 charges. (Joanna loses 30 points for Claude’s critique)

·         Liz and Joanna head to the agility centre, doggy dancing class (£12, 8-10 people). Michaela has 4 dogs and reckons they’d love the agility class.

·         Joanna wants to go for spa and Liz agrees; Jade also wants the spa, but the owner feels Joanna wasn’t a dog lover and goes with the other team. Liz is still positive. Michaela claims to have had a load of botox?

·         Anisa wants ‘Dirty Dogs’ as a brand name for the poop-scooping sideline but Sarah thinks it’s offensive. She wants £20 pp per hour but Anisa wants to go higher (overruled by Andrew) (Anisa loses 15 points for being overruled)

·         Sarah leads the pitch, Andrew goes for £120 and swears in front of the client, Sarah was ‘mortified’ by this and reckons they could have got £180. Harrison promises a lot in terms of waste removal and treating, James claims £200 for 2 hours and a partial refund if they don’t complete within that time (Claude says ST has overcomplicated and made a mess of it). (Andrew loses 15 points for Sarah’s comments, James/Harrison/Bushra lose 30 each for Claude’s criticism)

·         Vitality want all 3 services sold at £120 altogether. Liz and Joanna go for £25 for their sessions. Vitality ST have some knockbacks; Bushra says ‘close second is not good enough’, Liz says ‘more focus on the positives’ Joanna ‘hopefully she hasn’t had any close seconds’. (I'm loving this more witty Joanna btw)

·         The poop-scooping client go for Vitality as they feel that James’ ST overpromised. Andrew ‘I’m so happy about picking up poo’

·         2hr photo shoot for £475 quoted by Sarah, goes down to £225 but Andrew wants £250 (this gets brought up by the client) and Sarah then goes down to £200, client says they’ll think about it; Harrison meanwhile does some tricks with the dog, James quotes for £250 and Bushra knocks it down to £150 (a considerable drop according to James that could affect them), again client says they’ll think about it (they’ve clearly watched this show) – (Bushra loses 15 points)

·         James reckons he can up the £25 quoted by Liz and Joanna and gets £35 (without consulting his ST)

·         Charles wants his ST to make prospecting calls for them but Andrew wants to concentrate on handing out flyers, he gets agitated with Anisa chiming in and Michaela then takes the phone to ask Andrew if they can do it ‘No’ and puts phone down. (Andrew loses 95 points for a phone cut-off)

·         Jade/Charles/Michaela brush up on grooming techniques; they don’t however get the photo shoot contract

·         +40 Charles, +15 Liz, +10 James, +5 Anisa, -30 Joanna/Harrison, -45 Bushra, -80 Andrew



The Mane Event:

·         8am and Graphene team update: James says fully booked and most at £45 (reckons they needed to up the money)

·         Vitality team meeting: Andrew and Charles start to have a set-to but Michaela stops it, she chases a few more leads.

·         10am: ‘Elizabeth be gentle with me’ Joanna, Jade ‘this is one for you Michaela’ (bottle of prosecco)

·         Claude describes Liz as a force of nature and no need to change the course when customers are waiting (hopes they don’t get any refunds) (Liz loses 30 points)

·         Charles’ spa team are chasing a no-show with Michaela, can’t catch up with them

·         Vitality ST try to organise some treatments along with the poop-scooping and are told ok but must be done by 12. Karren reckons big contract at low rate, end up picking up bird poo (blames Sarah), Anisa flapping about. (Sarah and Anisa lose 30 points each for Karren’s comments)

·         Anisa reckons she's doing all the work and Andrew just standing there ‘do you wanna swap then?’ (good comeback Andrew)

·         Graphene have no morning appointments and so try to drum up some business door to door. They do get a job (£100 for a simple job quoted by Harrison, Claude reckons they have a great opportunity to earn some cash)

·         £144.98 quoted by Jade for a spa treatment, Charles directs his team (Jade and Michaela used to combing hair as their hair is long and he’s prompting them along, but Karren reckons Charles is sitting back and letting them do all the work) (Charles loses 30 points)

·         Vitality’s poop scoop client drops the price to £135 as haven’t cleared all of the bird poo. Andrew ‘I’m pooped’

·         Claude says the photo shoot is all very cute but the sweatshirts are the reason for the shoot and you can barely see them – the photo client agrees and they get £125 for all of the shots (Bushra loses 30 points as she was the one who took the photos)

·         Liz and Joanna dog training class – problems with some customers paying more than others due to James and they go back to £25 (Liz says James overcharged people and they’re talking between themselves about who paid what) so that they can try to sell the products (James loses 15 points)

·         Andrew and Sarah tell Anisa to calm down so that the 6 pooches they’re taking photos of can be captured (Anisa loses 30 points)

·         Liz and Joanna find that the products are being sold more now that the refunds have happened

·         Last hour: £125 for James, Vitality reunite to take on more poop scoop jobs and Jade struggles with the poo. ‘Come to me turds’ Charles. £55 for Andrew.

·         More products being sold for Liz and Joanna

·         High 5s all around says Charles, Andrew reckons they should get some prosecco

·         -15 James, -30 Liz/Bushra/Sarah/Charles, -60 Anisa



The Initial Boardroom:

·         Vitality: Karren brings up that Anisa wanted to be STL and Charles said his experience of her last week meant that he didn’t think she could handle the pressure. Got the spa that they wanted, and also got the poop scoop. Didn’t get the photo shoot, Sarah admits it was muddled in terms of how they negotiated. Andrew reckons good thing they didn’t take on the prospecting that Charles asked for. Andrew asked why didn’t up the price for the bird poo, Sarah admits should have done that but they did put a treatment on top which they sold. Karren reckoned Anisa was overwhelmed. Tumbleweed when asked if Charles was good leader (Andrew’s face is a picture) Sarah says didn’t have much contact and left to own devices. (Anisa loses 15 points for Charles’ comment, and an extra 30 for Karren’s statement, Charles loses 40 for no-one saying he was a good PM and a further 15 for Sarah’s criticism)

·         Graphene: Liz is dog lover but barking mad also, James put Liz in charge of the training team ‘Miss Bossy Boots’ and LAS expected her to be PM. Wondered why James didn’t go there himself as that was the money maker. Didn’t get poop scoop client as Harrison went in too enthusiastically. LAS backs up Liz and Joanna in terms of the price of the training and reckons James made a big mistake there. Photos bad. (30 points lost for Harrison and James)

·         Vitality: £325 spa, £375 mobile, £114.75 extras = £814.75

·         Graphene: £435 training, £435 mobile, £407.92 extras (thanks to the dogged determination of Liz according to Claude) = £1277.92 (Liz gains 30 points for Claude’s comment)

·         Treat: Thai Square Spa, James is happy he took the risk of being PM 2 weeks in a row, Harrison reckons needs to step up as PM

·         Losers Café: Andrew claims lack of urgency and not enough speed (blames Anisa: useless and whinges all day), Charles claims Sarah’s numbers all over the place and can’t see what she’s done this task. Michaela calls Andrew defensive and disruptive for claiming that Charles should have put himself and Michaela in different teams as they both have dogs (‘I don’t;’ says Charles) (15 points lost for Anisa, Sarah and Andrew)

·         +30 Liz, -15 Andrew/Sarah, -30 Harrison/James, -60 Anisa, -70 Charles



The Losing Team Boardroom:

·         LAS needs to work out whether wasting time with certain candidates. Charles should have realised that more dogs = more money, only processed 4 dogs. Jade claimed didn’t have time and asked ST to take over on leads, Charles blames Andrew for going too low a price on the poop scoop. Anisa states did ask to go in high ('why do they not listen to you?'), Andrew criticised for swearing during the pitch. Jade blames lack of structure, Michaela thinks Charles should have done more. Michaela felt she was PM at times. Charles brings back Andrew and Anisa. (Charles loses 30 for LAS’ initial comment, and a further 30 for Jade and Michaela’s feedback; Andrew loses 45 (15 for Charles blaming him and 30 for LAS having him over the swearing) and Anisa loses 30; Andrew and Anisa lose a further 60 points for being brought back)

·         -60 Charles, -90 Anisa, -105 Andrew



The Final 3 Boardroom:

·         Charles: ‘lost 6 out of 8’ (LAS) ‘loves a bit of delegation’ (Karren) ‘not done much’ (Claude)

·         Andrew: ‘man-child’ (Karren) ‘has tried’ (Claude)

·         Anisa: ‘completely unfocused and would drive LAS mad’ (Karren), ‘doesn’t have approval of other colleagues’ (Claude)

·         Andrew asked on swearing ‘doesn’t come from corporate world’, Charles taken over family business and doesn’t think has shown true ability, Anisa asked on why business should be fun. Andrew says Anisa should be more decisive, Anisa blames Charles for not making enough sales. Charles says no-one has confidence in Anisa. Andrew blames Charles first and then Anisa. Anisa and Andrew argue and Karren calls Anisa ‘flustered’. (Anisa loses 15 for Andrew’s initial comment, another 15 for Charles saying that no-one has confidence in her, another 15 for Andrew blaming her, and another 30 for Karren’s criticism; Charles loses 30 for both Andrew and Anisa blaming him)

·         Andrew – immature, don’t like swearing and was warned, undervalued poop scoop, honest opinion is he’s here 4 or 5 years too early. Not ready and therefore he is fired. Why is Anisa not listened to? Charles is Mr Hindsight, nice enough fellow but like the dogs seems to lay around and do nothing, has made life difficult but Anisa is also fired. LAS is looking for a business partner who leads and not a consultant, is wished the best of luck but Charles is also fired.

·         -30 Charles, -75 Anisa



Roll Call and Points Tallies:

He Came Too Early: Andrew (-200)

A Vote of No Confidence: Anisa (-280)

A Close Second is Not Enough: Bushra (-75)

‘Cause I’m Mr Hindsight: Charles (-150)

He’s Alive, Alert, Awake, Enthusiastic: Harrison (-60)

“This One is for You Michaela”: Jade (+50 but only for answering the phone so really 0)

Why Did He Have to Go and Make Things So Complicated?: James (-35)

Queen of the Quip: Joanna (-30)

Barking Mad: Liz (+15)

De Facto PM: Michaela (0)

Held Her Hands Up and Admitted Everything: Sarah (-45)



Points Rankings for the Week:

1.       Jade (by default for the phone): +50

2.       Liz: +15

3.       Michaela: 0

4.       Joanna: -30

5.       James: -35
6.    Sarah: -45

7.       Harrison: -60

8.       Bushra: -75

9.       Charles: -150

10.   Andrew: -200

11.   Anisa: -280

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