Strictly Come Dancing 2015: Week 5 (Part, the only)

Evening guys! Yes this edition is a bit on the late side, but then I always like finding out what dances the celebs are doing before I put this up.

Style Stakes for this week: Claud looked sexy and Tess' dress was a mess (didn't fit her, clearly). On the celeb side, Kellie & Kevin/Karen/Helen/Jay probably had the best outfits (although Anita's was great as well).



Georgia & Giovanni - Salsa - "(You Make Me Feel) Mighty Real"

I see that Peter has been outgunned on the 'getting the fahmily into a VT' front, this will not do.

Too busy messing with her hair (it's a fast dance so she could have just left it and it would have sorted itself out), she still needs to learn to spot but underarm turns were good. Georgia was so off-balance coming out of some of the turns and lifts that she seemed to have forgotten the routine on a couple of occasions (the side-facing shimmys a big one). She also needs to work on finishing off her arm lines - she's almost there, she just needs to get the hands sorted.  

She and Gio are doing a Tango to Ghostbusters: I'm just wondering whether this is going to be any worse than poor Sid Owen's Cha Cha Cha effort with Ola 3 years ago.

My score: 6.5


Carol & Pasha - Viennese Waltz - "I've Been Loving You Too Long"

Can I just say that this was the most awesome VT ever? Pasha, could you take me to the theme park please? 

Onto the dance itself, and once again, it's obvious that Pash trusts his girl as she was out of hold a fair amount (contrast with Kirsty where Brendan doesn't let her out of his sight). *channels Craig for a few moments* HANDS! So pancake flat, darling *and back to normal Enigma*. She was a bit out of time with Pash towards the end and seemed to get her feet tangled when they were going through the centre parting of the dancefloor, but posture and hand placement in hold looked decent (just needs to straighten out the wrist occasionally, and if you want visual evidence, look at the thumbnail for her clip on the website). Just a bit of polishing needed and her lines would look so much better. 

As for the judges - *channels Gordon Brown from the 2010 election debates for 4 words* "I agree with Craig", *back to normal*, Bruno was way too harsh. And Darcey, she didn't make any mistakes? She clearly forgot the next move at one point - and if I can see it, then it has to be obvious. Fair amount of faffing abaht at the start; it was 20 seconds and yes I did deliberately count. Also, I'm hoping Monkseal's blog showed pics of Carol & Pasha up in the Clauditorium as you could see Kirsty perfecting her 'Secret Escapes' audition (#smugface). Next up is Rumba, and this has been a dance of death (or at least bottom 2) before, but I think she might just strike lucky.

My score: 5


Anita & Gleb - Tango - "Sweet Disposition"

Might just have been the song, but I found this quite boring in all honesty (I'd go as far as saying that I actually preferred Peter's Tango from last week). How many kicks did Gleb want in the routine? Also on the song, if 'Voulez-Vous' and 'Telephone' can be rearranged, then why not this which seriously needed it? 

She needs to watch her topline and hand placement (crook of the armpit for the Tango as Craig says, her thumbnail on the website shows it being out of position). She also has to do some more work on her arms and finishing off her lines, as she was throwing them away at points. Very soft and loose at the start, the beginning needed to be much sharper and she was slightly out of time with Gleb. Was there an illegal lift in there? It looked like there might be on first watch but I couldn't tell when I played it back. Loved her dress as well, just a shame about the eyebrows, they took Cara Delevigne to a whole other level. 

Anita has the first Halloween Waltz, and I'm not too sure how she'll do here as her last slow Ballroom was the American Waff-Waff from week 2.

My score: 7.25


Peter & Janette - Rumba - "Thinking Out Loud" by Ed Sheeran

He's in the first half of the show? HALLELUJAH! *Ahem*. Their outfits were an oddly bright colour for a Rumba weren't they? (And the 'Blue Peter' joke was awful, but if you think less of the kids' TV show and more of the early Peter Kay joke about 'Blue Ray', it's ironically funny) 

Onto the dance, and not sure if I got the story if I'm honest; however it was probably one of his best performances and the singers did a good job. *Channelling Craig again* HANDS! Seriously dahling, a bit of shaping wouldn't hurt. *and back to normal* I've heard that Aljaz and Janette do all of their choreography together, well in that case, Ali can't be all that good then, because like with Anita, I found this routine a bit tough to watch. I do want to see what the 'dancers' thought of the choreography though, as Janette can't resist throwing in those little eccentricities can she? 

Peter got into the performance, which was good, and what he did seemed good. Male Rumbas are usually awful but this one wasn't too bad. Not enough hip action though, and whilst I'd say this was much better than his Pirate Paso - and Len agreed with me, so as he's the expert I must be right - I do sort of agree with the mark (tells you how much Jack Sparrow got overmarked). 

He has a Foxtrot next, hmm, I can feel a cheese-fest coming on. Not sure how 'Ghost' by Ella Henderson will work, so the band might have to rearrange a little. I think if not for the song, this could be a potential breakthrough for Peter.

My score: 6.75


Kirsty & Brendan - Viennese Waltz - "This Year's Love"

*RECYCLED SONG ALERT! (Harry & Aliona in series 9)*

DUCKFACE! (Look at her thumbnail, it's a scream). From the VT, it looks like Brendan has bought himself a one-way ticket to Erin Island ('natural born dancer' my ar*e). 

They took nearly 30 seconds to come down the stairs, 1/3 of routine gone. You could see she was gripping onto Brendan for dear life, and she did seem to miss moving her foot during one of the spins at the top of the dancefloor, which caused her to stumble slightly. Also, free arms weren't good at all. Still, VW is pretty much all in hold (unless you're Carol or a partner of Kristina), so this was always going to favour her. I hate to say it but she did beat Carol tonight for me. 

Off to the judges, and please stop imitating the Andre and repeatedly saying 'thank you' Kirsty, I heard it about 10 times during Bruno's critique (I did laugh at Claud's ongoing snub to Peter by allowing Kirsty to hug her though). 

This week it's a Charleston, and Postmodern Jukebox have been wheeled out again; an artist being played twice in 3 weeks must be some sort of record (the stat fans should be able to tell me). Brendan needs to make like a magician and pull out an SEB-style routine - yes I know they get help for the Charleston but play along please - otherwise I think a trip to the dance-off may beckon.

My score: 5.5


Ainsley & Natalie - Jive - "Shake, Rattle & Roll"

*RECYCLED SONG ALERT! (Matt & Flavia in series 5)*

I did wonder who would be the first to REALLY upset Wardrobe this series, think it must have been these 2 as it's the second week running that they've had pink outfits. Oh he does make me smile, although I was a bit nervous at the end with the 'Christ what time is it?' as his facial expression seemed to remind me of Gregg Wallace at the end of his Charleston. Also, they were both outgurning Kellie, Kevin and even Kristina in the performance department (I did for a moment think that Natalie WAS Kristina at the start, it must be the fringe). More Rock n Roll than Jive, but the song called for it and it suited Ainsley (loved the Elvis bendy legs) - Nat pitched this perfectly for him. 

Quick sidestep to the judges, and was it just me or was the audience reaction very delayed to Len's 'get up on your balls more' comment? Either that or I must have a very dirty mind - probably the latter in all fairness. He's probably the best old man that there's been on the show, but it was about the right time for him to go. I shall forever love him and Natalie for their Tango alone - I still watch it repeatedly I must admit!

My score: 4.25


Jamelia & Tristan - Foxtrot - "Because You Loved Me"

Before the dance: loved Claudia's horse joke, she should so be an actress. Also, how old is Jamelia's eldest daughter? She looked more like her younger sister (I'm still not sure whether that's more of a compliment to Jamelia or an insult to her daughter).

Erm, this seemed a bit quick for a Foxtrot in places? And Tristan for god sake stop making her do ugly things with her legs as it never looks good (although that underarm spin to go back into hold towards the end was awesome). Was there an illegal lift here too? Hands and top line looked good (best hands of the night possibly). Still don't think Tristan can choreograph - I would have swapped her with Kirsty as I reckon Brendan could have got more out of her. 

Also, Tristan's raised eyebrows as they went back to the Clauditorium were just a bit odd (love Team Jaliona's reactions to them though, just watch them in the background as it's so sweet). Felt a bit sorry that she was in the bottom 2 again, hopefully this week she can bounce back. 

Time Warp Jive? I have a feeling that we've been here before (the not-so-famous one from Destiny's Child and Brendan, natch), but apparently this is meant to be good.....

My score: 6


Katie & Anton - Salsa - "It Had Better Be Tonight"

It wasn't tonight. I've wanted them to use this song for ages, ever since I first heard it on an M&S advert (the ones with Lisa Snowdon and Dannii Minogue). 

WHAT ON GOD'S EARTH WAS THAT?!  *goes to have a lie down*

'Night on the lash' Katie was back, and boy do I love her. She looked good at the beginning but then something went wrong with the first lift. She kind of got it back but then the first drop seemed to knock her off kilter and she went really out of time (finishing drop was appalling). Almost as big a hot mess as Kirsty's Salsa - and that takes some doing! We can't blame Anton though - they get outside help with Salsa choreography (although it did feel more like an Anton comedy routine than anything else; what did you do Beaky?)

Over to the judges, and the audience prompted Tess there ('We loved it!'): that's a first. Also loved Natasha's (Katie's daughter) nervous '....10?'. 

Paso next week? *scrambles to vote for Katie* An Anton Paso is usually good entertainment if nothing else (even Judy last year) - even if it is to Phantom of the flaming Opera.

My score: 4.75


Jeremy & Karen - Waltz - "She"

From VT: Fanboy Jeremy is cute! Onto the dance!

*goes into Grace Jones mode* 'Strange, I've seen that staircase before....' (a pro routine for those who wondered). I do love Jeremy as you guys well know by now, and this was a sweet if not spectacular Waltz - I did tear up a little when I first watched it. His topline looked alright, footwork seemed ok, not a bad job Jezza. When you think that really he's competing with Dan Lobb and Audley Harrison (tall males of the older persuasion that have come before him), he's not doing too badly now is he? (Although this dance made the height difference between Jeremy and Karen obvious)

Over to the judges, and have Craig and Bruno swapped bodies a la 'Freaky Friday' (the one with Lindsay Lohan, before she went all.... freaky)? Halloween is next week boys, you're just a bit early! Bruno was way too harsh - but I did love how Karen said she'd 'take one for the team' after Craig's comment about how Jeremy looked like he was dragging a log, and how Brendan said 'that was beautiful' as they got up to the Clauditorium. Craig's score is becoming a running joke (and when you look at the pit after whilst Claud is reading out the T's & C's, you wonder where Peter buggered off to).

Salsa to Thriller next time though? This is going to be hilarious.

My score: 5


Helen & Aljaz - Quickstep - "You Can't Hurry Love"

*RECYCLED SONG ALERT! (Will & Hanna in series 3, and Dani & Vincent in series 10)*

VT, and Aljaz would never get a job as a commentator. Onto the dance!

Dani & Vincent anyone? Ahem. Oh yes, you know how I mentioned Aljaz and his choreography before? Well this is a perfect example to illustrate. Like Brendan before him, too much time spent faffing telling the story, but when they eventually get to it, it's great. Lots of gapping though (think it's just an Aljaz thing, as his Quickstep with Abbey was the same) and she was slightly behind him in part of one Charleston section, but Helen held her topline really well (beautiful hands as well). Floor sweep not required. I watched this dance and I thought: 'is that what Susanna & Kevin's 'Good Morning' Quickstep was meant to be?'

Samba to Scissor Sisters? Do the producers remember what happened last time they did this (Sunetra was in the dance-off that week iirc)? Even IDFLD is a better Samba song than 'Take Your Mama', and could someone tell me the connection between that song and Halloween? Answers on a postcard please!

My score: 7.75


Jay & Aliona - Paso Doble - "It's My Life"

*RECYCLED SONG ALERT! (Ray & Camilla in series 4)*

*Sigh* my sort of male Paso, so manly (although I don't think anyone will ever overtake Mark Ramprakash for me in that respect). I was listening to this song earlier today actually (have it on my ipod), and although it's not the best song for a Paso, I think Aliona could have done a lot more with this - I think of poor Ashley's Bon Jovi Paso with Ola 2 years ago, and as much as I'm not a fan of Ola's Latin Choreography, I think she did a much better job with it. Jay's lines were good, great hands, however he was slightly ahead of Aliona in the bit where he brought his arms over his head and cocked his leg up (sorry I don't know the name, but it's a funny mental image).

Over to the judges, and Len's look of 'WTF?' whilst Darcey was talking was brilliant. And good lord Bruno, but at least the audience got it more quickly than Tessbot did. As a side note, Anita did not look happy after seeing this dance; but then again, Ainsley just amusingly wandered into shot so I don't care all that much.

Next time, it's an American Smooth, with a 'Little Red Riding Hood' theme. So basically Kimberley & Pasha's Paso but with Ballroom and lifts? Is that right? I do wonder how Jay will handle the lifts......

My score: 7.5


Kellie & Kevin - Jive - "One Way Or Another"

This is so much better watching on the second view - Kev's good run of Jives continues. I was thinking that Kevin was doing his usual over-dancing trick that makes the celeb look even worse but he actually wasn't (I watched for a 3rd time just to make sure), which tells you something about how good Kellie must be. Kicks and flicks were good, free arms were generally good too (suitcase prop not really helping there). I think Kevin might just make it 3 finals in a row.....

On another point, I could watch Tess running into shot over and over again - now if only she'd overshot herself and skidded into place......

(Basically, their Halloween Paso is a mash-up of an Alice Cooper song covered by Glee, and the theme tune from Harry Potter, any excuse for Kev to do his Draco Malfoy impression)

My score: 8.25


My Leaderboard (all marks multiplied by 4 to give a score out of 40):
1. Kellie & Kevin - 33
2. Helen & Aljaz - 31
3. Jay & Aliona - 30
4. Anita & Gleb - 29
5. Peter & Janette - 27
6. Georgia & Giovanni - 26
7. Jamelia & Tristan - 24
8. Kirsty & Brendan - 22
=9. Carol & Pasha, Jeremy & Karen - 20
11. Katie & Anton - 19
12. Ainsley & Natalie - 17


*RECYCLED SONG ALERT!* count: 26 thus far

Strictly Come Dancing 2015: Week 4 (Part, the only)

Apologies that it's another 5 thoughts post again, however I can guarantee here that for the next 2 weeks, it will be back to the usual posts, I promise.

Ainsley & Natalie –

      1. Now although I criticised Nat’s choreography last week, she got it bang on this time. She can always get a decent Waltz out of a duffer (remember Tim’s last year?)
2. Loved her dress too, up there with Katie’s as one of the best
3. When me and my mom were watching this, we were thinking ‘awww… this is sweet’
4. I was looking for errors and apart from his top line not being great (much better than his Tango though), I couldn’t find anything else, his footwork seemed pretty good to me.
5. Good scoring from the judges, but then I think of poor Jay (more on him to come)

Anita & Gleb –

      1. Like Helen last week: good, but boring. It was quite repetitive as well I thought.
2. Gleb could have done a bit more with her, it was sort of like Kellie’s Charleston, they were apart for a lot of the routine.
3. Bit undermarked though, I was expecting an 8 or two.
4. Finally! The Paso/Tango I was hoping for! (It’s the latter)
5. Done to an awful song though, so let’s hope it gets Tango-fied like Ainsley’s and Katie’s songs were.

Carol & Pasha –

      1. Her best dance by far. Enough said.
2. She was really trying though, and I do love her for that.
3. Was it just me, or was she actually quite a bit more elegant and refined than Kirsty?
4.  I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, traditional music is a lifeline for a duffer, and it really helped Carol here.
5. Viennese Waltz to Seal, and once again it’s Carol vs Kirsty. And once again, I think Carol’s going to win.

Daniel & Kristina –

      1. Nice enough, this was actually one of his better dances.
2. The lifts were quite good, I wasn’t expecting him to pull them off but he did well.
3.  I totally clocked him singing at one point though, so I had a sneaky drink.
4.  I’m actually quite sad that he’s gone, he was just starting to get into the whole Strictly shebang, I was hoping that by about week 6 or 7 he’d go full on sequins.
5.  Might be for the best that Kristina goes out now, less opportunity for bad press.

Georgia & Giovanni –

      1. It might just be me, but did they slightly change the tempo of the song so that it suited a Quickstep more?
2. This was a pretty good dance from Georgia: footwork looked good, hold looked decent. Choreography from Gio wasn’t too bad either.
3. That being said, I was kind of distracted – with her being so short, she was sort of having to run almost to keep up with Giovanni.
4.  As I managed to predict her dance last week, I’m thinking we’ll get a Latin. And as most people in the later series have done a Cha Cha Cha at some point, I’m thinking now’s probably the time for her to do it (of the current celebs, only her and Kirsty haven’t done it yet, and as Kirsty’s just done a Latin…… - ETA, I was close: right style, wrong dance)
5. Why oh why do I get the feeling that Georgia will do a Pamela and end up looking much worse? (She can’t spin, you know)

Helen & Aljaz –

      1. Less awkward than her Cha Cha Cha, so well done to her for loosening up a bit more (also, *RECYCLED PROP ALERT* - Louis’ screen (and possibly table) from his Charleston)
2. Lifts were AWESOME, especially that ending!
3. Her hip action still needs a bit of work though, seemed quite stiff at some points.
4. I’m sort of getting Gethin-style vibes from her – not great at Latin to start off with, but will improve to be good by the end, although Ballroom is definitely a strength (that, and I think she’ll make top 4 but won’t win)
5. Quickstep? Hmm, out of all the Ballroom, I think this would be the one that Helen struggles with – fast dances haven’t been her forte so far.

Jamelia & Tristan –

      1. WOW!  So much better from Jamelia, I wasn’t expecting this to be that good!
2.  Looked as though her footwork was good, got quite a bit of swivel in there.
3.  It kind of says it all when her best dance is one that Tristan didn’t choreograph.
4.  Following on from 3, I thought she actually looked a lot better than Tristan in that Charleston. Is ‘cba’ his default setting?
5.  Foxtrot to Celine Dion. Excuse me but I think I’ll have to pass on this one (hopefully she’s near the end and I’ll be drunk enough by then)

Jay & Aliona –

      1.  I felt so sorry for him, in a fast dance like Quickstep, once you make one mistake you tend to make more as you’re trying to get back on track.
2.  Aliona gave him a difficult routine, and from what she said afterwards, clearly he could do it, but just happened to go wrong on the night and then spiralled downwards from there.
3.  So according to Craig and Len, Jay was only as good as Daniel? I was thinking more along the lines of Anita’s score….
4.  Trying to get a good Quickstep out of ‘My Generation’? Seemed a bit more difficult than I thought.
5.  A Paso? To Bon Jovi? I do quite like the song (I have it on my ipod) but clearly with this choice Jay’s the male that TPTB don’t want to win – just look at what poor Ashley had to put up with!

Jeremy & Karen –

      1.  He just bloody went for it didn’t he? So glad he’s through again, could we get him to Blackpool please?
2.  I’m kind of torn about what dance I want him to do – something slow like a Waltz would be nice for him after the Charleston and Jive, but then I do want to see how he copes with something like a Tango. Either way, pretty sure it’ll be Ballroom.
3.  Teehee, I got this spot-on! Like Natalie, Karen can usually get a good Waltz from a duffer (Nicky aside), so Jeremy should be fine.
4.  Apparently he quite likes a bit of Elvis (Costello, sorry dad!) so I think he’ll be fulfilling the Daniel role in this week’s drinking game.
5.  Vote Jeremy please (other contestants are available)

Katie & Anton –

      1.  One of the best dresses of the night, fabulous!
2.  Now here’s where Anton can come into his own. It was his way of saying to the judges ‘You want content? I’ll give you some bloody content!’ – and in a dance where there’s only a few steps too!
3.  Yes Katie was a little skippy in places, but she coped beautifully and those pivots alone meant she fully deserved top of the leaderboard (only just ahead of Jamelia though)
4.  If they do have to have a Latin next, then I think Anton could probably get away with a Samba (no lifts, lots of technique for Katie to get stuck into), and after all, it was the one dance that Katie wanted to do…….
5.  I was close with Salsa (just 2 letters off), but seeing as Anton’s last one was with Nancy Dell’eer-io, I’m not holding out too much hope…

Kellie & Kevin –

      1.  I found this dance a bit boring, but then I usually find Foxtrots boring unless the song changes rhythm a little (see Thom’s dance with Iveta last year, Simon’s as well)
2.  I did sort of get emotional about the whole story behind the dance, made Kellie a lot more likeable to me.
3.  I understand the reason for the dress (period and all that), but I would have preferred a different colour, the blue made her look a little washed out.
4.  Hmm what dance do I think she might have next? Kevin usually does a good Jive, so possibly that for her (Jesus I am good! Again, most of this was written up on the Sunday, so either I’m more psychic than I thought or TPTB have just become a lot more predictable)
5.  To One flipping Direction though!?! I can’t see how that is going to work at all.

Kirsty & Brendan –

      1. And so the whinging and excuses continue, but for once it’s not Brendan doing it…..
2.  Just remember Kirsty, the only reason that you’re still here is because Daniel messed it up in the dance-off.
3.  I do sort of agree with her on the song choice though, if they had to do U2 then maybe ‘Vertigo’ would have been better?
4.  At least Carol could be trusted to dance on her own.
5.  For her next dance there are only 3 words: HARRY. AND. ALIONA

Peter & Janette –

      1.  *sigh* I see the more realistic comments and scores from the judges only lasted one week then.
2.  His hold seemed a bit odd? Kind of loose?
3.  Not sure that he had the footwork down either, this is one of those that I’ll probably have to watch back a few times as I was confused as to whether it was good or not.
4. Rumba? Pass me the sick bucket please.
5.  Looking forward to seeing the singers attempt this though…

      This week's drinking game is as follows (numbers 1-10 are the same for each week, numbers 11-14 are for next week specifically):

      1. Every time Brendan says 'this girl'

2. Every time Len says 'you came aht' (bonus drink if he mentions the word ‘welly’ in the same critique)
3. Every time Craig mentions hands (bonus drink if he uses the word 'spatulistic' at any point)
4. Every time Tess & Claud, or Anita, go on about Gleb and his so-called hunkyness
5. Every time Darcey says ‘the boys are right’ (bonus drink if she’s too busy laughing or fanning herself to talk at any point)
6. Every time Bruno gets out of his chair (bonus drink if he falls off of it)
7. If any of Peter's wife/kids appear in his VT
8. Every time you see Peter try to get into shot in the Clauditorium
9. If Gleb finds a mirror in the Clauditorium after his dance
10. If you see Anton and/or Brendan get up to mischief in the Clauditorium

      11. If Jeremy starts singing during his routine at any point
12. Any song-related puns used by the judges after Ainsley’s Jive, Georgia’s Salsa, and Katie’s Salsa: also any artist-related pun for Kellie's Jive (1 drink max for each celeb)
13. If Kevin makes his and Kellie’s Jive have a 50s or Rock n Roll theme
14. If the singers murder Celine Dion or Ed Sheeran for Jamelia’s and Peter’s dances (1 drink for each)

      *RECYCLED SONG ALERT* count: 22 thus far (6 from this week)

       Ainsley's Waltz (Matt & Lilia in series 4)

       Anita's Samba (Rachel & Vincent in series 6)

       Carol's Paso Doble (Claire & John in series 1, Jill & Darren in series 2, Austin & Erin in series 6,    Ricky & Natalie in series 7 (this is down as 'Spanish Gypsy Dance', but I believe it's the same  music), Fern & Artem in series 10)

       Daniel's American Smooth (Scott & Natalie in series 8)

       Helen's Salsa (Pamela & James in series 8)

       Kellie's Foxtrot (Will & Hanna in series 3)

Strictly Come Dancing 2015: Week 3 (part, the only)

So major apologies, it's another '5 thoughts'-style post this week. 12-8 shifts and not getting back after 9, plus trying to sort out various work-related stuff whilst I've been at home, means that I haven't been able to sit down and write out my normal 2-3hr blog posts. I've got earlier shifts next week though, so hopefully I can park myself at my laptop one of the nights (probably early on) and bang out a long post again :D

Ainsley & Natalie:

1    1. Bit too much penguin and not enough Cha Cha Cha for me, Nat went a bit too far off piste with this one

2    2.  Did he go really out of time at one point, and struggle to get it back?

3    3. Love the penguin touches on the costumes though

4        4. And at least their VT was somewhat related to their routine/training (well, more than most)

5    5. I’d actually say this was overmarked in all honesty…..

Anita & Gleb:

1    1.  I’m a crab!

2    2. Was Flavia back in the room?

3    3. The gazing into each other’s eyes when the VT was about to start was a little odd though

4    4. I actually quite liked this dance, and thought it deserved a little more than it got

5    5. It might just be me, but I didn’t think there was much VW in the actual dance. Bit more contempo-wafting (but in the nicest possible way)

Anthony & Oti:

1    1. Oh. Good. Lord.

2    2. I was just staring at his bad arm all the way through

3    3. Poor guy, if only Strictly were like DOI and said that he could withdraw and come back next year (before the series started ofc)

4    4. Oti was fierce again though, I love watching her in these dances

5    5. Another positive thing about Oti: she gets it. A 4 from Craig isn’t that bad for week 3. Think she’s done enough to warrant an invite back.

Carol & Pasha:

1    1. This wasn’t actually that bad?

2    2. Hahahaha, I was almost right about Pasha’s prop (just got it wrong that it would be Carol using it instead of him)

3    3. She, like Jeremy, is the best form of duffer, so I’d be quite happy to see her again.

4    4. Still has major balance issues though.

5    5. Paso to traditional music? Dare I say it, but I think they’re trying to get Carol out…..

Daniel & Kristina:

1    1. Was anyone else thinking that the Strictly producers were taking the p*ss with this routine, as Daniel and Kristina were so clearly in the wrong roles?

2    2. To be fair, the VT was actually a little funny for once.

3    3. Harsh, Bruno, HARSH.

4    4. So we’ve had Botox Daniel, Fun Daniel, and T-Bird Daniel so far, I’d quite like to see Scary Daniel.

5    5. American Smooth to Frank Sinatra? I think I might have to add this to the Drinking Game (see below)

Georgia & Gio (not as cute as him from Ugly Betty, but he'll do):

1    1. Awful VT and so NOT funny.

2    2. This is a first for Movie Week – a song that’s from a film that hasn’t even been released yet.

3    3. At least they had a (slightly) better song choice for a Bond Rumba than poor old Mark Benton did (and technically Fiona Fullerton as well) – but it’s got the bloody song in my head dammit!

4    4. The singer was totally brilliant as well – major props to him.

5    5. Georgia did well with what she had to do, that drop back was awesome. I’d like to see a Quickstep from her next (Note: I wrote most of this up on Sunday, so clearly I was psychic), see if she’s sorted out her balance issues and she should be able to show me some personality (and try to win me over) with that. Also, poor Giovanni, but Len does do this every so often – Aliona and Artem have had this sort of dressing-down before.

Helen & Aljaz:

1    1. Technically good, but DULL.

2    2. Nice outfits though.

3    3. Helen is a bit more bland than Georgia, and I didn’t think that I’d be saying that. Her character on CtM has more life in her.

4    4. Charleston is a-calling, please!

5    5. Salsa to the song that got us to initially like (well I was laughing at) Pamela & James, will Helen be struck by the same curse and have a blonde moment before doing some amazing overacting to attempt to cover it up?

Jamelia & Tristan:

1    1. Much better from her, though it was still awful (and a bit overmarked methinks…..)

2    2. I’m starting to think that Tristan cannot choreograph to save his life.

3    3. She looked so happy when she got those scores though, bless!

4    4. Did they actually do any lifts?

5    5. Some nice Ballroom for her next, I hope. Possibly a Tango might be good for her? (And then she gets Charleston, somehow I think she’ll be bottom 2)

Jay & Aliona:

1    1.  FAN-FLAMING-TASTIC, eat that Jill Halfpenny!

2    2. My dad (who is not a fan of Strictly and gets us to FF through the judges’ comments) made us rewind about 5 times so he could watch the routine again.

3    3. Aliona might have her batsh*t moments sometimes choreographically, but when she’s on it, she’s bloody on it!

4    4.  I actually really fancied Jay in this dance, think it might have been the ponytail….. *phwoar*

5    5. 10 was totally deserved, and Darcey lost her bottle. I don’t really care that he has previous dance experience, as it wasn’t in Ballroom or Latin (Caroline Flack and Matt Baker however…..)

Jeremy & Karen:

1    1. Look at his little face! He’s so enjoying himself, which is what I love to see.

2    2.  Karen probably should have realised that he couldn’t do that foot shuffle ‘hop’ move, he never closed his feet.

3    3.  Loved her in the Clauditorium though, and as I said to my family – there’s a reason why she’s married to Kevin.

4    4. The 3 from Craig was harsh, but the overall score I think was quite fair.

5    5.  They should so ask Tim to do next year (even if in his stage shows, he dances like Anton does Latin)

Katie & Anton:

1    1. Poor Katie, Anton totally let her down with the choreography on this one (at least he admitted it!)

2    2.  To be fair, Cha Cha Cha is probably Anton’s worst Latin, so he might have wanted to get it out the way early on whilst they’re still riding on our good favour.

3    3.  This was more like a Brendan routine (and I say that as a fan of Brendan’s choreography most of the time)

4    4.  Loved Katie’s dress, can’t really say anything else as she didn’t do much else.

5    5.  If only my dad were at home this weekend for their Viennese Waltz to Elvis, he got obsessed with this song when it was used (in an advert?) last year.

Kellie & Kevin:

1    1. Like him or loathe him, you give Kevin a themed dance (on an actual theme week), and he will do wonders with it: first Frankie’s ‘Amer-i-ca’ Paso, and now this.

2    2. Awful beginning though, but fair enough as he has to try and tell us which film it is

3    3. Kellie was on point synchronicity-wise, and anyone who can keep up with Mad Dancer Kevin must be pretty good

4    4.  Nice Ballroom for Kellie please! Will be interesting to see if she can tone down her performance side for something like a Waltz or Foxtrot (I’m on a roll here, Foxtrot it is)

5    5. Hmm, based on Kevin’s 2 Foxtrots so far, this is going to be twee, cheesy or both.

Kirsty & Brendan:

1    1.  Loved the beginning and end, nice work there Brendan.

2    2.  She still cannot do lifts – and she might well need them if she wants to survive to Blackpool

3    3.  I’m still wondering how her hair was done, loved the collar necklace.

4    4.  Kirsty needs to watch herself back and realise just how badly she comes across both in front of the judges and in the Clauditorium, there’s a reason why Gabby Logan didn’t last long (and it wasn’t to do with James, for once)

5    5. Paso to ‘Beautiful Day’ by U2? I can just about see it but somehow I think this will be even worse than Bloody Lulu’s effort (and hers had to resort to flying!)

Peter & Janette:

1    1. Ok, so you know when I said last week that I had faith in Janette that this Paso would be better than poor Jake’s last year? Man, I was so wrong.

2    2. Johnny Depp he wasn’t.

3    3. This wasn’t really a Paso either – the Paso-inspired routine that some contestants on the UK SYTYCD did a few years ago was much better and more authentic than this.

4    4. From 1^st to 5^th, oh boy did I laugh at that, finally the judges don’t act as if the sun shines out of his backside (still overmarked though)

5    5. From Paso to Tango, getting the ‘easy’ dances out the way early I see. Not sure on the song choice, but Janette got a half-decent Tango out of Jake to ‘Toxic’ last year, so fingers crossed!

      

     And here's the Drinking Game:

      1. Every time Brendan says 'this girl'

2. Every time Len says 'you came aht' (bonus drink if he mentions the word ‘welly’ in the same critique)
3. Every time Craig mentions hands (bonus drink if he uses the word 'spatulistic' at any point)
4. Every time Tess & Claud, or Anita, go on about Gleb and his so-called hunkyness
5. Every time Darcey says ‘the boys are right’ (bonus drink if she’s too busy laughing or fanning herself to talk at any point)
6. Every time Bruno gets out of his chair (bonus drink if he falls off of it)
7. If any of Peter Andre's wife/kids appear in his VT
8. Every time you see Peter Andre try to get into shot in the Clauditorium
9. If Gleb finds a mirror in the Clauditorium after his dance
10. If you see Anton and/or Brendan get up to mischief in the Clauditorium

Week 4 specific:

1.    If Daniel or Ainsley start singing during their routines at any point (1 drink max for each)

2.    Any water-related puns used by the judges after Jeremy’s Jive (drink for each)

3.    Any ‘day’ puns used by the judges after Kirsty and Peter’s routines (max of 2 drinks here, 1 for each dance)

4.    If Carol’s Paso contains more skirt-swishing than anything else (Fern Britton, Frankie Bridge, I’m thinking of you here)

5.    If the singers murder Shakira for Anita’s Samba (they shouldn’t given they’ve sung it before for Rachel Stevens, but you never know)

      *RECYCLED SONG ALERT* count: 16 so far (just 2 from this week)

      

       Anthony's Paso (Dennis & Izabella in series 3, Lisa & Brendan in series 6, 

       Helen's Foxtrot (John & Kristina in series 6)

     (Btw apologies for the numbers appearing at the side, not sure why that's happening)

Strictly Come Dancing 2015: Week 2 (part, the only)

Evening all, and apologies for neglecting the blog this week: being at work from 11-7 plus 3 hours worth of travel time means an exhausted Enigma. So the blog is still going up, but it's going to be a slightly different format.

Over on the Strictly forums on Digital Spy, there's a thread called '5 thoughts' where you post 5 thoughts for each particular week. It's been going for a while and it's a great read (I sometimes post there too). So for this blog, I'm adapting that a little and adding 5 thoughts for every couple - and if this works then if I think I might not be able to get the blog up, then I'll post another of these instead. I've only been able to see the dances once this week, so it's less about them and more on how I see the couples, as well as the dance they're doing for week 3.

With that long preamble over, let's start with my 5 thoughts list, and I've also included my own drinking game for the week 3 show (which I shall adapt every week).

Ainsley & Natalie:

1. Shake that little tush, honey!

2. Pun song choice: check! Hopefully he's crossed off of the list now

3. Where were the green peppers?

4. Please keep him in for the facial expressions alone

5. Scoring was about right, what a shocker!

Anita & Gleb:

1. Although it was a bit too Gleb-y for my liking (no one likes a show-off), it was actually quite good choreography for a Charleston I thought, so props to him.

2. Loved Anita's outfit, red really suits her and her hair was gorgeous

3. Also loved the start and end with the window, now THAT is how you use a prop!

4. Not much swivel, but then swivel is not the be-all-and-end-all of the Charleston, well, unless you're Craig, that is.

5.  Good performance from Anita actually, I really want to see her do Paso/Tango as I reckon she could knock it out of the park.

Anthony & Oti:

1. More good work from Oti: apparently week 2 in the series of "How to cover up an arm injury when dancing" is all about "lovey-dovey, hand on heart whilst the audience tries not to puke"

2. I did still love their Waltz though

3. I did still give them a vote

4. And I am still looking forward to their Paso, even though the producers have punished them by making them have another round of the ‘pun song choice carousel’ (it’s a bit like jury service: some people never get asked/have to do it, others get picked to do it a lot)

5. Speaking of their Paso, will Anthony be playing a bandit? (I think you all know where my bad joke is coming from)

Carol & Pasha:

1.  Pasha was quite possessive over that umbrella wasn’t he? It’s as if he has to hold on to something during each routine (he might just be making Anthony feel better by copying though, who knows?)

2. Lovely traditional music, always makes a dance look so much better, especially if it’s a duffer (Scott’s Samba last year anyone? I still have nightmares about him suddenly appearing and chasing after me, scuttling sideways with his pincers……)

3. Carol didn’t look too bad in this dance, there could be hope for her yet (actually scratch that, I’ve seen this week’s dance……)

4.  Somehow I get the feeling that this week’s Quickstep will be more of a Slowstep than Peter’s this week – more on THAT to come

5. Seeing as how Pasha loves his props, and they’re dancing to ‘Wash that Man’ from South Pacific, is the beginning going to be him coming out of the shower in a towel? (Well some can dream, not me, but some…..)

Daniel & Kristina:

1. Props to Kristina, she played it just right on the choreography front

2. Less Botox Daniel and more Fun Daniel this week, can we keep this one please?

3. Then again I’m kind of dreading him being Fun Daniel channelling Danny Zuko…..

4. I’m also expecting Craig to open his comments with ‘More Granny Zuko than Danny Zuko’ (if he does, then you heard it here first!)

5. Is it bad that when I’m trying to picture this upcoming Cha Cha Cha, all I’m getting is Chris Hollins and the Starfish?

Georgia & Giovanni:

1. Pun song choice: check!

2. SWING!

3.  I started to fancy Giovanni quite a bit during this dance, and then I see the sweaty Betty at the end of the routine and I rapidly went off him again

4. Is it just me, or does he looks-wise look a lot like Matt Di Angelo? (Something in the face, I don’t know…..)

5.  Still not convinced Georgia has much of a personality, Charleston is a-calling please! What do they have? Rumba? Oh good flipping lord……

Helen & Aljaz:

1.  I think only 3 words are needed to describe Helen in this routine: Awkward. As. F***

2. But then I think the only reason they put this at the end is less about Helen’s ability, and more about us women wanting to see Aljaz as a dirty mechanic (phwoar, to be fair he’s only got about 2 years on me, so I’m allowed)

3. So with them doing Foxtrot this week, and their song, I really want Helen to show off her inner Trixie and give us some sexy sass (because we know Aljaz will put this in, if his dances with Alison Hammond were anything to go by)

4. Going back to number 1, what was Aljaz thinking with the ‘rubbing the chesticles’ trick, it didn’t look sexy, it just looked odd

5. I still wonder why they don’t use the Westlife version of this song at all? It's very similar to the Billy Joel version but more... high-pitched? I think that's the right word there, you think they'd be desperate to use different versions of tracks so we don't do *RECYCLED SONG ALERT* all the bloody time.

Iwan & Ola:

1. Not sexy, but he doesn't know it

2. Breakdancing in a Cha Cha? It’s not unusual, we saw glimpses of it with Mark Wright and his Caterpillar/Worm thing last year, difference was that this was better

3. Did my eyes deceive me, or did Ola not do any of her patented Ola-ography? No pivots, no starfish, what is the world coming to?!

4. That being said, good to see her showing some variety, even if it is a bit too late in this instance

5. Yeah, he deserved to be the first boot.

Jamelia & Tristan:

1. I don’t know if this might have been the first time that instead of a Wardrobe Malfunction, it was Hair Malfunction (caused by the wind machines ofc)? I did feel a bit sorry for Jamelia with that though

2. Ok I think we can call it now, Tristan won’t be getting a contender next year

3.  Which is a shame as I actually quite like his Irish accent

4. Oh yes, Salsa, the all-important question over how much of a good duffer you are is ‘can you do lifts?’ As we found out with Kirsty, erm, no.

5. Not really shocked that she was in the bottom 2, and think she’ll be out in the next couple of weeks.

Jay & Aliona:

1. We haven’t seen spins like that since DVO - *RINGER ALARM*

2. Aliona’s heading into Artemis’ Wafty Territory I see, please come back out

2    3.  Still love Jay though

3    4. Did he really need the haircut? I quite liked the long hair and he could have had it put back into a ponytail if needs be

4    5. Ooh Jive, that should be the making of him I’d think, looking forward to it!

Jeremy & Karen:

1    1. Regarding the set: is this to do with Karen’s secret sexy dream that she could be an alluring librarian, but she has to be Happy Clappy Karen irl to keep up with Ker-azy Kevin? If so, then I applaud the producers for supporting their staff and helping to make their dreams come true

2    2. Anywayyyyy, for the stat fans, this is the second time in 2 years that Karen has done the American Smooth in week 2

3    3. Jeremy is so the cute little nerd isn’t he? If ever they did an oldies version of the Sugababes’ ‘Push the Button’ video, he’d so be the one with the green shirt that gets with Mutya, he has the facial expressions down already

4    4.  I’m not sure what is wrong with me, it’s as if I’ve been hit with Vine Flu

5    5. Ok, I’ll lay off the bad jokes, promise.

      Katie & Anton:

1    1.  I thought they were dancing to ‘Telephone’? Not that I didn’t like the rearranged track, I loved it actually but I’m not sure how they changed it from the original

2    2.   I might end up liking Anton this series, which just goes to show what having a good partner can do for a pro. He deserves it as well, he’s paid his dues and then some

3    3. Although he may have resorted to good old-fashioned bribery and paid the producers, we’ll have to see if he gives any cheeky winks to the judges, then we’ll know

4    4. Katie’s dress was stunning, but we all know she’ll be made to look awful in her Cha Cha Cha to ‘Pretty Woman’; it’s inevitable.

5    5. Love Katie in general, she’s not too posh to take the p*ss.

      Kellie & Kevin:

1    1.  Well at least Kevin knows how to do an authentic Cha Cha Cha, doesn’t he Janette?

2    2. Kellie does try too hard on the performance side though

3    3. And as soon as I say that, she gets the Charleston, to Star Wars. *Mind is blown*

4    4. I have the feeling that she’ll be late in the running order, so most likely I shall be completely and utterly gazeboed (thank you Michael McIntyre) when I watch this routine – see my drinking game below for why.

5    5.  I also have the feeling that Kevin will completely go for it and make me see double-vision as a result, so maybe it is best if I get drunk before, yes?

Kirsty & Brendan:

1    1. For anyone (including me) who hoped last week was just a blip: it wasn’t.

2    2. There was also a momentary blip during this routine, the part where her feet actually touched the floor! *shock, horror*

3    3. To those who were clutching their pearls when Giovanni showed the world Georgia’s pants last week (didn’t Natalie do it herself this week as well, where were you then?), they should be outraged at the whole ‘shimmy over the man whilst he lies back, thinks of England and looks up your skirt during the whole thing’ trick that Brendan pulled. Shame on you Mr Cole, and I was starting to get fond of you again after your adventure with Hoggy on Flockstars.

4    4. American Smooth this week? Brendan just needs to ask himself one question – how long can I make these lifts last?

5    5. With 2 lift-fest dances in a row, I take it that Kirsty will have Charleston next week, followed by Argentine Tango? Week 5 for an AT is about the right time after all.

Peter & Janette:

1    1. ‘Look judges! Look how quickly and energetically I can trot like the good little horse that I am! Watch meeeeeee!’

2    2.  I have to admit, watching Peter try to knee himself in the face – so he could knock himself out and get sympathy votes from it all, I know your game Andre – was hilarious.

3    3. Not nearly as hilarious as his Jack Sparrow get-up is bound to be though, he’s no Johnny Depp that’s for sure

4    4. Oh yes, with all of my giggling I nearly forgot, THIS WAS NOT A QUICKSTEP

5    5. I actually have faith in Janette that this Paso will be better than the monstrosity that poor Jake Wood had last year – I’m starting to wonder if I might be getting that Winter Sickness bug after all……..

     And here is my drinking game. Take a drink when the following happens:

      1. Every time Brendan says 'this girl'

2. Every time Len says 'you came aht'
3. Every time Craig mentions hands (bonus drink if he uses the word 'spatulistic' at any point)
4. Every time Tess & Claud, or Anita, go on about Gleb and his so-called hunkyness
5. If Tess talks about Jay's nerves
6. If any of the judges make a reference to Yoda after Kellie & Kevin's Charleston (bonus drink if any impersonate Yoda, my money's on Bruno)
7. If any of Peter Andre's wife/kids appear in his VT
8. Every time you see Peter Andre try to get into shot in the Clauditorium
9. If Gleb finds a mirror in the Clauditorium after his dance
10. If you see Anton and/or Brendan get up to mischief in the Clauditorium

*RECYCLED SONG ALERT* count: 14 so far (8 this week as you'll see below)

Anita's Charleston (Ali & Brian in series 7, Richard & Erin in series 10)

Anthony's Waltz (Carol & Matthew in series 4, Kara & Artem in series 8, Michael & Natalie in series 10)

Daniel's Charleston (Pamela & James in series 8)

Helen's Cha Cha Cha (Anita & Brendan in series 9)

Jamelia's Cha Cha Cha (Gavin & Katya in series 8)

Jay's Waltz (Jimmy & Flavia in series 4, Christine & Matthew in series 6, Chelsee & Pasha in series 9)

Kellie's Cha Cha Cha (Lynda & Darren in series 7)

Peter's Quickstep (Alesha & Matthew in series 5, Holly & Artem in series 9)

       

        

J

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